Short Film Script Feedback: Am I Doing It Right?

[cybersarge]

Have been writing this for a couple of days, for an Acquaintance from the boards here. Just wondering if I'm doing it all right, as I'm writing it as a short film piece.

 

[carm]

It seems to be turning out pretty well, some of the dialogue is really good, all I can say at the moment is proofread, proofread, proofread!

 

[cybersarge]

At the moment I'm just looking to finish it. So once I'm done, I'll edit it from there.

 

[carm]

It is good to want to finish it, however if you expect people to read it along the way and give you advice on it you should make it as easy as possible for them to do so.

 

[krillianred]

Interesting, look forward to an update.

 

[cybersarge]

It is good to want to finish it, however if you expect people to read it along the way and give you advice on it you should make it as easy as possible for them to do so.

I'm doing my best in that area. Unfortunately, myself and my contributor Joseph are used to writing for our mates, but we're trying to keep the script as readable as possible.

 

[cybersarge]

Have added a bit to the screenplay:



Am just trying to figure out how to have Rachel (Main female lead) find out about the bet, have them break up, then get back together. May sound simple, but I'm drawing more blanks than a circus act. Any running opinions, criticisms etc. are welcome.